Is there a way to simplify my investment accounts without spending a fortune?

A good financial advisor can handle that for you. Being that you don't trust them, that isn't going to help you. A good financial advisor has software that you can have access to that will track all of your accounts at your discretion. You can even include you bank accounts as well as you life insurance and health insurance coverage, all in real time. You will not be able to consolidate all of the accounts though. Your only option would be to see if your 401k will let you roll your IRA ets into the plan. That would not be a good idea though because your investment options would be really restricted. If you move your 529 plan, you may lose your state tax deductablility. Any other 529 plan than the state plan will incur more fees too.